One of my good friends (“Lisa”) just phoned me in tears; she had been asked several months ago to be in the wedding of one of her sorority sisters from college and she was so excited because this girl had been in her own wedding, blah blah blah.
It’s now about three months before the wedding and Lisa has announced that she is pregnant with her first baby. By the time of the wedding she will likely have a bit of a bump but the style of the dress (empire waist) will allow for it to fit all right without needing alterations.
The bride sent Lisa an email saying, “I’m having someone take your place, and she will send you a check for the dress, but I guess congratulations on your Pregnancy.”
Lisa attempted to contact the bride via email, telephone and text message and is getting no responses. She doesn’t understand why she is being excluded from the wedding party, and frankly I don’t either.
Why would a bride un-invite a bridesmaid after she became pregnant?
ETA: Lisa is married – as I mentioned, the bride was Lisa’s own bridesmaid several years ago, so there is no “knocked up out of wedlock” stuffiness going on.
some are too obsessed with how their wedding will LOOK with a pregnant gal in it, although it shouldnt matter at ALL.
i used to work for a bridal shop, and the only problem i can see with pregnant gals in weddings is that its hard to order the right dress because y ou have no way of knowing how big you will be at the wedding and what size dress you should get.
she’s not that great of a friend.
The answer is sad, but simple–BRIDEZILLA. If Lisa can’t get in touch with the bride to reason with her, she should just drop the topic. Her friend will regret the decision later.
maybe the bride doesnt want the bridesmaid to have all eyes on her and her bump if it shows.
i think its wrong to kick her out of the wedding just because shes pregnant, the bride must be a b*tch
Wow. That’s super mean of that girl. I feel terrible for her!
There’s really nothing to do? I mean, I really don’t understand why the bride would do that. Poor her. :*(
because the bride is a bitch…everyone loves preg women and love to talk to them about it…maybe the bride feels like it is going to take the thunder away from her
The bride wants
a fat-free wedding!
She is a witch!
She seems to be a bride-zilla and doesn’t care that she initially asked this girl to be in her wedding, pregnant or not. If she meant something to her as a friend, it wouldn’t matter. I would still have a friend in my wedding even if she was pregnant. The girl who un-invited her is so self-centered, that’s why she un-invited her.
It doesn’t make sense, but hey! She and her husband can use that dress money, travel money and the money they are saving for a gift and have a nice romantic weekend. With a baby on the way, those will become rare for a few years. I’d tell her to take advantage of this “windfall” and go have fun with her husband.
And be thankful that she didn’t spend all that money on this ….. (well, I’ll not say the word I’m thinking)!
The best thing is to dump a person like that. It’s not a friend.
because she is a selfish person!!!!
how rude of her!!!
your friend doesnt need some onel ike that i nher life.
maybe o nthe day of the wedding, take your friend out for a special “girls day” and pamper yourselves to keep her mind off the fact that she was kicked out of the wedding.
That is one SUPER bitchy Bride! Fine! See ya! I wouldn’t have called her or texted at all. I just would’ve replied to the email & acted as flippant as she did. She doesn’t even deserve the energy!
This person sounds very self centered. In my opinion I think it was very callous what she did, and now she won’t even give your friend the courtesy of a phone call, or even a e-mail to explain.
Well that is just plain RUDE of the bride to do that! more then likey its because shes pregnant….people are just inconsiderate like that. As if its a big deal, having a baby is a big part of someones life! why have someone shut you down like that! your friend just needs to hold her head high, be the better person. Shes better then that bride anyways. Just showed the true colors of the bride (B***H.)
sorry to hear.
People are too obsessed about the visual appearance of the wedding. They want it to look perfect.
I was reading this thing on http://www.etiquettehell.com, one woman said she was taken out as bridesmaid because she didn’t look good with her hair up. And this woman took the bride under her wing and took care of her and helped her out throughout the wedding process. To top it off, the woman was the bride’s boss!
I wish people would consider weddings as a symbolic event and want to include close people symbolically, not as eye candy. My wedding attendants aren’t models, but I think they are beautiful on the inside, which makes them wonderful on the outside. They have been important in our relationship.
Hi. Well, I feel bad for “Lisa.” Is this her first baby? If so, she will hardly be showing at all! I didn’t show with my first until about
4-1/2 months.
Her “bridezilla” friend is rude and inconsiderate. I have absolutely no idea why she would want to replace her. She sounds selfish and rude. I’m as perplexed as you.
Tell Lisa that all of us send her our best wishes and congratulations!!
EDIT: Oh, oh……I just thought of something…..Do you think it’s the fact that not EVERY question of the day will be voiced upon the bride? Gushing over her every move? Such as, people will say “hey Lisa, I hear congratulations are in order….when is the due date?” Oh yeah…..I can see the “bridezilla” types really getting annoyed with any kind of attention being shed on anyone other than the bride. Hmmmm….maybe that’s it! How sad.
Elizabeth,
Lisa’s friend is just rude. “I guess congratulations on your pregnancy”??? Lisa is better off without a friend like that. I understand her being upset, she has a right to be. Sure, her friend has a right to have who she wants to be in her wedding, but to be this rude about it is just wrong.
Note to Shila – If you read what Elizabeth wrote, you will notice that she said this gal was IN Lisa’s wedding, therefore Lisa is not pregnant and unwed!
With that kind of “friend,” Lisa should count her blessings that she doesn’t have to be in that wedding!!! Lisa can take the check for the dress and put that money toward baby needs.
Give Lisa a hug . . . and let her know you are there for her and will always be her friend.
Because she wasn’t Lisa’s friend to begin with. I’m sorry she had to find out this way. Tell her to stop worrying about it, the sorority sister will get her comeuppance someday!
First, the bride is a jerk and doesn’t deserve your friend Lisa in the wedding. If I did the math right, she would be 5-6 months pregnant, and with the empire waist, she should be able to hide her little bump (if that is a reason for the bride to kick her out). But, to be honest with you, Lisa should count her blessing that she doesn’t have to waste her money on such a selfish person. Tell Lisa not to stress over it, her mind should be on her baby and the family she is building with her husband. People like the bride should not have any part in her life any longer, it was rude and tactless. But atleast she showed Lisa how her friendships work.
PS Shila, she did not get pregnant out of wedlock. The new bride was in her wedding not too long ago.
that’s so insensitive. This bride is probably extremely concerned with how her bridal party will look and since your friend will have a baby bump, it will throw off her “look”
brides like that are a nightmare. Who cares what your bridal party looks like. It’s the people that count.
Poor thing.
Well one reason is that she will outshine the bride on her day.
Another is that the bride is kind of jealous of her because probably secretly she wants a baby now and her ex brides maid is now pregnant.So the only way to get rid of the problem is to replace a bridesmaid. I sorry that happend to your friend. Pregnancies should always be a wonderful thing.
Thats awful!!! If i was Lisa i would be so offended!
What a bitch!
Her loss… shes lost a bridesmaid and a friend.
There is no reason anyone should act in that way.
My matron of honour was asked by myself knowing she was trying for a baby.She did fall pregnant. I left purchasing her dress her dress as late as possible and bought a larger side. She lost the baby and we might have to alter the dress down a size. At no point would i have told her not to be a part of my day. If she had changed her mind, fair enough…
My big day is 7 weeks away and shes trying again…
Theres no need for anyone to be like that…
You are freaking kidding me!!! That is unbelieveable!!!!
One of my bridesmaids will be pregnant at my wedding and I don’t care in the slightest! She is my good friend and I don’t care if she is as big as a whale, she will look beautiful.
I absolutely can’t believe that…..she has been discriminated against in an unfair way. Tell her obviously the bride is not a true friend, and keep her chin up.
(
How sad
What a rude, self-absorbed bridezilla!
1. Dumps the bridesmaid b/c she’s pregnant.
2. Dumps her by email (too cowardly to do it in person or by phone.)
3. Mitigates her congratulations, “I guess congratulations…”
4. Leaves it to the new bridesmaid to send Lisa a check for the dress, rather than doing it herself and making sure it gets done.
5. Ignores Lisa when she tries to contact her.
Lisa is better off now that she’s an ex-friend of bridezilla. I’m hoping the bridesmaid sends her a check for the dress, if not, she should definitely do what she can to get paid back.
Bridezilla probably didn’t want wedding photos with bridesmaids with anything but a completely flat belly. But Lisa doesn’t need to understand why she was excluded. All she needs to know is that the bride is quite nasty, and that she’s lucky this b**** is no longer in her life.
P.S. A Nonny Mouse gave some great advice. I hope you’ll share her answer with Lisa. And have Lisa print up and save a copy of the email kicking her out in case she needs it in small claims court.
Wow what a witch! I can’t believe she did that. Some brides are completely obsessed with having a picture perfect wedding. She could have come up with a better excuse for not wanting to her be a bridesmaid. Obviously they weren’t that good of friends. I think she should call her up and let her know exactly how it made her feel. Maybe then something will result from it.
Congratulations on the baby for her though!
Well, I have the opposite problem. One of my friends just phoned me and said she couldn’t be in my wedding because she was trying to get pregnant (in vitro) and if she got pregnant, she wasn’t supposed to travel. She has tried to get pg alot and it hasn’t happened. While I understand her point, I am a bit frustrated myself. I would have been fine with her being pg. Now I have to find another bridesmaid. I know she feels badly about it.
sounds like the bride is either jealous because the friend was married first and starting her family already or was just looking for a reason already to not have her in her own wedding. School friends, no matter how close, can definately grow apart over time. Tell Lisa not to take it personally and just move on. If the girl was a true friend, she wouldn’t be acting like this (grade school anyone ???). Hope Lisa’s baby is happy and healthy and everything goes great for her. Tell her a happy life is the best revenge on petty spiteful people.
This is rude, to say the least!
The Bridezilla is a snob!! She’s probably been jealous of your friend for some time and is afraid the pregnancy would steal some of the thunder from her wedding.
And, tell your friend not to ship the dress, until the check clears and make sure it covers the packaging, insurance and shipping.
Your friend is so lucky to have a true friend like you, who really cares about her feelings.
The Bride is being rude, inconsiderate and self centered.
An empire cut bridesmaid dress will accomodate a pregnant woman easily. Lisa will only be 3 or 4 months pregnant at the time of the wedding. With a first child at that stage you MIGHT see a bump but nothing that would make her appear any bigger than she is now. I didn’t show at all until 6 months!
Lisa does not need a self centered B*tch in her life at this stage. She is having a baby. A wonderful addition to her family and she should b e happy with that.
For someone who was apparently a close friend to dump you like rubbish on their special day just because you have the pleasure in becoming a mother is just plain rude, not to mention stopping all communication because of it.
Please send my congratulations to Lisa. She will have a wonderful life with her new baby. If i were the bride i would have her by my side regardless of what she looked like because of what she would mean to me. Lisa is better off not being in this wedding to support her as when it comes down to it the bride isn’t going to support her now when she needs a good friend – But you are going to support her and that’s all that matters.
My future brother in law had his first daughter last year on the day we announced our wedding date and Olivia’s first birthday will be the day of the wedding. My friend who is singing at my wedding is trying to fall pregnant now and if she does she will be due around the same time. WHO CARES! They have something special in thier lives that happens to coincide with my wedding, if they can make it i want them there because it’s the people that make the day special not how it looks.
First tell your friend that this person is not worth crying any tears over. Then tell her….
1. if the replacement has not sent a check to cover the cost of a bride’s maid gown that cannot be used, then the bride and her replacement should be taken to small claims court. perhaps an e-mail to that effect should be sent to the bride..see if she ignores that one….if the dress has already been ordered the friend should call the bridal shop and make it quite clear that the dress is not to be released to anyone but her….certainly not the bride or the replacement, until the friend has been reimbursed for her deposit in full…if it is she will bring the bridal shop to small claims court for giving someone else her dress that she has paid for.
2. if the bride has the audacity to invite the friend to her bridal shower and wedding, all invitations should be politely refused…..absolutely no gift should be sent.
3 as far as baby shower invites/birth announcements this woman’s name should be crossed off the list.
4. as soon as the deposit for the bride’s maid dress has been reimbursed she should loose this woman’s address and phone number….permanently.
Ye reap what ye sows.
I’m sorry but that bride is a b*tch! Holy cow, how rude!!
I feel for Lisa and you should just comfort her and let her know that this so-called friend is really no friend at all and that she should cut all ties with her and next time this beeyotch tries to contact her-Lisa should just ignore her pompous follywang as$ !
BRIDEZILLA!!! Stomping people everywhere. Tell your friend that’s she’s lucky she’s getting her money back and to lose the other girl’s email address and phone number.
That’s awful. Some brides are more concerned about the perfect appearance of their bridal party and the photos then being considerate of their friends. At my first wedding, the friend who got my husband and I together was the first one I asked to be a bridesmaid. When she told me she was pregnant and would be pretty far along by the wedding she offered to step out. But I absolutely had her stay. She was too good a friend and we made it work. She couldn’t wear the matching dress but found a lovely one in the exact same shade and I wouldn’t trade having her tummy in those photos for anything. The bride is not a true friend and is being rude and selfish. Lisa should let it go, focus on her new beginnings, and sadly write off this woman she thought was a friend.
The bride is obviously very self centred and thinks the world revolves around her. I think your friend should cut her losses and try and move on. I know it hurts but this girl couldnt of been a real true friend anyway, because if she was, she would be happy for her friend, instead of being a bitch.
I get so mad when I hear of brides like this, they need to wake up and realise that their wedding day isnt the be all and end all for everyone. I want to kick this girl in the butt.
That is sad. She probably doesn’t want the attention taken away from her or had changed her mind about the girl being in the wedding and is using this as and excuse. Tell her to send her 1 message explaining that she doesn’t under stand what is going on and is confused. Ask that she explain herself and then drop it whether she does or not.
I wouldn’t disclude them, unless they were going to be too far along to walk, or didn’t feel comfortable. Or if it’s around the time she was due. It sounds to me that the bride is being a bit bridezille, which isn’t wrong, but come on.
This happened to me years ago and it still hurts. This was my childhood friend and the maid of honour at my wedding. I was so hurt and I am now a senior citizen. I would not of been showing at all.
This is just plain mean at least my friend faced me to tell me the news. It will probably destroy the friendship. As her friend I would suggest you allow her to vent her feelings to you.
Personally, I feel that this girl is being extremely rude and inconsiderate. Explain to your friend that if she is that self centered, does she really want to stand up for that person on her wedding day? Sounds like her true colors are coming out…
Thats horrible. You know I read a question on here not long ago where a bride wanted her bridesmaids to all wear different heel heights so they would all be the same height! I wonder if its the same girl? haha
Really the answer to your question is there is no good reason why. That bride sounds like she has become so wrapped up in making a perfect wedding that she forgot the most important things. Im sure with her attitude and planning, a lot of things are going to go wrong that day and I wouldnt be surprised if she treated other people this way, too.
That’s just rude!!
Lisa is better off without her and saving her money to the baby.
Just wanted to add that you’re a good friend, be sure you be there for her. Not good for her to stress over this and in the long run she will realize it. But right now she will be too fragil – who wouldn’t?
I think we are all with your friend Lisa. that’s was just wrong!
Well, I guess she isn’t much of a good friend, after all. It simply shoes the bride’s lack of good character.
First off, let me say that it sounds like the bride is just a major witch.
Second, I’m wondering if the bride thought maybe it would be too much for a Lisa to accommodate being pg and having to be a bridesmaid. That being said, if that’s what the bride thought, she went about it the wrong way.
If this isn’t the first time this “friend” has been a witch then I say good reddens, and especially no inviting her to Lisa’s baby shower or other social events and DEFINITELY no gifts or anything.
The fact that the bride is not responding to email, calls, or texts is a red flag that she is just a witch.
I don’t see why someone would do that, I mean a baby is supposed to be a good and happy thing, along with weddings. It’s supplementing everything, no taking away from anything.
OMG! What a rude BRIDEZILLA! I was 5.5 months pregnant with my son when I was in my friends wedding. I wore an empire waisted dress. She let us pick the style as long as it was in the color she chose. I don’t understand why brides are so put off by pregnancy. Quite frankily.. Pregnancy to me is more important then some Bridezillas wedding
Tell your friend her “friend” is NOT a friend, especially if that person is being rude, and purposely excluding her. That’s NOT right. Were given the gift of motherhood. Tell your friend to enjoy her pregnancy, and not to stress over being pregnant.
Good Luck.
That was very rude of the bride and very unkind. She sounds like a Bridezilla. This bride sounds very shallow and self centered and I feel sorry for the groom that is marrying her.
I guess congratulations on your pregnancy she is better off without this “brides” friendship. I am sorry but that is not how you treat others.
I am so sorrrrrrrrrrrrrry for Lisa. My daughter was getting married and wanted her sister A..in the wedding. Her sister A.. became expecting and people did not want A… in the wedding and they tried there very best to have her out of the wedding because she was expecting. My daughter cried because she wanted her sister in it. So instead of her being the matron of honor and walking down and standing in front we made her the honorary brides matron and her husband escorted her down the aisle and seated her besides me. It was gorgeous and she looked GORGEOUS!!! (I think I cried when I saw her come down the aisle with her husband) At the time of the wedding my daughter A… was 7 months expecting and to sit down was great for her. And my daughter that got married was soooooooooo happy to have her pregnant sister in her wedding in spite of folks.